Dear Ndugu...

Hi,

I’ve decided that I’m going to take the child rearing approach to counting the time since you’ve been gone. Which makes today 14 months. Not a year and 2 months, but 14 months. I always think it’s interesting that until a kid is 2 years old you count the age by months. I don’t really get it – but I think its ok because I’m not a mom. I’m sure once I have a kid and I’m counting their age I’ll know why I tell people that he’s 18 months old and not a year and a half.

So yeah – 14 months. If we were in fact talking about a child’s development at 14 months I would mention how my kid was eating with his fingers, waving bye, and standing without any help. I mean I would just be praising my kid nonstop, because of course he would actually be ahead in his development and on the track for an 18 month milestone such as using a spoon and fork nicely and having the soft spot on his head closed up.

And I might have taken that too far. 

I guess we can see where my head is at the moment. I was just having a conversation with Sara about how I don’t understand how I go from where I am in my life right now to being an adult (because I believe myself to only be faking it) with a husband, and children and things. So I would very much like to ask you these questions. Amongst others.

In other news work is blowing up and I’m loving every minute of it. Work is one of the only places I feel in control of things. Keeping busy, not thinking about you, or dad, or life, really puts me in a much better place mentally. So that’s something.

Also, I’m pretty awesome at the game ‘Squeeze Its’ that Rosie played today on her new show. So I’ve got that going for me.

Sorry this was not at all interesting, but some of our conversations went that way – they can’t always be gems.

Love you forever, Miss you always.

Rachel