Hi -
I Rachel Ann Rosenthal might be a workaholic. Or at least I think I might be. Is that what it means, when for the most part during the week work is the highlight? I can go all day being in a great mood, with not really a care in the world outside of what is going on in my little cube at work. For the most part I love every minute of it, and don’t mind going back the next day. But, something takes over during the drive home from work. Something in my head takes over while I'm sitting there alone for 30 plus minutes with nothing better to do than think. Lately I've been seeing myself down the road 10 years from now and I'm always alone. It scares me so much. My worst fear in life is that I will be alone. There I've said it. Or typed it at least.
I am though. I am terrified that I will wake up one day be 40 years old and alone. That there won't be someone lying next to me who I'm sharing my life with, the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. That I'll never know love. That my life will have past by unlived.
Of course I'll still have my friends and all that stuff. But the picture I keep seeing in my head is all of them married with kids, and then there's me - the forever-3rd wheel.
The super scary part is that I have no idea what to do about it. I’m not sure I'm ready for online dating. I went out downtown last weekend and for the most part there didn't seem to be too much for me there. What I really want is for someone to introduce me to someone else. Old school style. I gotta say I think being set up might be nice. There's something reassuring about knowing someone who knows the guy. They can vouch for him. Too bad the majority of my friends are married and hang out with other married people.
What's a girl to do?
What did you do? Why aren't you here to help me? Give me advice? Tell me the story of how you met Dad?
Love you forever, Miss you always.
Rachel
Rachel
