Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream....

Hi –

Sometimes late at night when I’m trying to fall asleep I lay in bed, and I can see my life 15 years from now.  The picture is always a little fuzzy, and I can’t exactly make out what I’m doing or who I’m with, but what always comes across clear as day, is that I’m happy.  I can tell that I’ve made it to a point where I think I might be content. Then I look to the side and I can tell that you’re missing; I can feel your absence somehow.

I guess that’s how my life will play out, and already has started to somewhat. I will be happy; I am now. I will find love, have a family, and live out my life. But I’ll be in those moments, and at the same time be out of them looking for you off to the side. It will be my rock in my pocket.

In other news I think I have set a record for mistakenly dialing your work and cell phone number in a week, and its only Tuesday. Every time I’ve done it was when I was trying to call Dad. I would have a thought in my head, pick up the phone and start dialing without even realizing it. I never completed your numbers, so I guess that’s something.

I’ve done nothing in the way of packing up any of my belongings, so I’m obviously awesome on that front. As well as I haven’t been able to fall asleep before 1am for days now.  And with that thought I’m going to go to bed now, in the hopes that I fall asleep in the next hour.

Love you forever, Miss you always.

Rachel

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise”