Kickstart This

Hi –

I’m currently watching some SONS while my brisket is simmering. I hope I did it right. I’m a little worried about my cutting technique and all the fat that was throughout the meat, but other than that I feel good about it. Smells good, that’s for sure – so that’s something. There was a small freak-out when I thought I had the wrong cranberries. Then Lily said, “well can’t you call her and ask her,” and of course me being me I replied back with, “no Lily I can’t call my mom.” She of course meant Grandma Phyllis thinking the recipe came from her. Good thing though, I re-read the recipe that I have from Rab and it said ‘whole cranberry sauce’ so all was good.

Today was a total off, should have stayed in bed, kind of day. I can always tell when I’m not my usual self. When my head and heart feel heavier. Last night as I was going to sleep all I could see when I closed my eyes was this perfectly clear image of you. I couldn’t stop thinking about it all through today either. I want to say there was more happening every time I closed my eyes but I can’t remember. 

All I know is that today I was completely preoccupied with thoughts about how I was going to make it the next 30 or so years with out you. So yeah needless to say it was a particularly awesome day.

The other day I heard this really good line about how from early on in life we learn that everyone one day will die, so you would think we would be better at dealing with it by now. It’s stuck with me since I heard it, and makes me think about this this documentary project called ‘The Club’ (http://www.theclubdocumentary.com) that profiles the lives of women around the world who prematurely lost their mothers. I can’t wait to see this project reach its fruition and be a world-renowned documentary. It needs to be. It’s a subject that not a lot of people talk about. I think if anything would help people ‘deal’ it would be something like this. Plus Rosie O’Donnell is in it – so that’s something. Gives it some credibility in my book. http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/theclubdoc/the-club-0

Love you forever, Miss you always.

Rachel