The dog days are not over

Hi –

Today I miss you so much I’m nauseous. I literally want to purge everything from with in me in some effort to prove how much I miss you and need you back. In an attempt to somehow prove I’m worthy and you should come back.

It took roughly 3 months, but tonight in a loud and crowded restaurant, while being a bit drunk on tequila and full it sank in a bit. I felt a part of me observing the crowd thinking ‘I wish I could be carefree like them.’ And just like that I was completely consumed by thoughts of you and everything that had just happened, and I lost it. I left the restaurant pretty quickly after shedding a few tears, and promising to text when I got home.  As it always happens the moment was gone just as quickly as it came. I quickly realized I had left my keys at home, and was going to be locked out.

Now 2 hours later I’ve talked to Dad and want to hug him. And spent some time sleeping on the floor outside my apartment.

Lets just say it’s been quite the evening.

Love you forever, miss you always

Rachel

“Just another day without you.

I'll be okay without you.

I'll be fine.

I'll be all right.

But

I'm breaking apart inside.

I'm breaking apart inside.

I cry in my sleep at night.

I'm breaking apart without you.”