I'd like to thank my Mom...

Hi Mom -

Watched the Emmy's tonight and every single person that went up on the stage said something along those lines. Either they were thanking their mother, or saying hi to them in the camera because they were at home. It was quite a surreal moment to sit there and think what I would I might say if I ever found myself in that sort of situation -- up on a stage in front of millions of people on TV accepting an award for my amazing performance in a TV show or a Movie -- I mean its a totally believable thing that might happen to me. I might even say quite as believable as I would have thought having my mother die when I 26 would have been - so who knows what path might life be on.

I also couldn't help but think how I'm not going to be able to call you tomorrow morning and recount all the various dresses that the women were wearing. For instance, I was not a fan of January Jones' dress. Tina Fey's dress was up for debate in the house as we watched the awards but I liked it.

I put Kahni and Randi in charge of coming up with a themed meal for us to eat while watching the awards and let me tell you they did not disappoint. They made homemade TV dinners. They bought us real TV trays, that had the partitions and everything. They made fried chicken, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and vegetables. It was delicious.

Jewel sang a really cheesy song during the 'In Memorium' segment but it had a really good line in it "I have a whole in my heart in the shape of you." Its a perfect lyric because its unbelievably true. I do have a whole in my heart and it is in your shape. Some say it will grow back, and look the way it used it, but just not work the same way anymore. I'm not sure I believe that. I'm not sure it will ever grow back. I'll probably always have a hole, it just probably wont always hurt.

It turns out I know quite a few people who have been in this exact place. They say it gets easier but its just hard to believe. I still think you've just gone out to the store and you'll be back in a few minutes. Guess I'll be in the for the shock of a lifetime when you don't come back. Until then...

Love you forever, miss you always
Rachel