Little Miss who you are, is so much more than you like to talk about.

Hi –

There have been a couple of times lately where I find myself observing the situation I’m in and wondering what I’m doing there or how I got there. I find myself not entirely understanding my current state of affairs. I wonder why I have the friends I have, and if they would notice if one day I just wasn’t there anymore. Not because something bad happened to me, just because I wasn’t there. More times than I would care to admit the answer I find myself coming to is no – they wouldn’t notice.

There is this song that’s been playing nonstop on country radio called ‘Country Strong’. It’s from the new Gwyneth Paltrow movie. In the song is this one line that speaks to me:

“Yeah, on the outside I look fragile
, but on the inside is something you can’t crush”

Not because I think its describing me, but because I think I’m the completely opposite. In the last 3 months I’ve built this fairly indestructible wall but on the inside I’m totally broken. As the days pass by I feel a little bit of my carefully constructed wall cracking. I think its only a matter of time before the cracks are too big to will back together.

Yesterday I was in the car driving out to Rabs for dinner and Sugarland’s ‘Little Miss’ came on the radio and I almost totally lost it. I felt the lump in my throat coming up but I pushed it back down. All I could think was just get to Rabs. Everything will be better there.

A while ago I remember telling you how I had stopped going out to Rabs house because it made be feel homesick. I would look around at everyone and the lives they had created, and listen to the bickering, and want that for you and me. Maybe not everything exactly the same. But I would have given anything to live next door to you and spend our days being Mom, Daughter, and Granddaughter.  Now though, I can’t wait to get back there. I want to spend all my time there. It’s were I’m the most calm. Where my head clears the most and everything is quiet.

In other news, I’m officially sick. I’m also watching Meridith sit on her suitcase in an effort to zip it close. I should probably offer her some help but the visual is much more enjoyable. I’ve pumped myself full of all things healthy in an effort to kick this cold. I’m worried I’ll be quarantined from Kalel. That would be devastating. And on that note I’m going to drug myself into a peaceful sleep. (Hopefully).

Love you forever, miss you always

Rachel

PS. Meridith was successful in her suitcase battle. However, after success was reached she realized she left her shoes out. So the entire process restarted. 

Little Miss

Hi –

The word miss is pretty interesting if you think about it. There’s the fact that I am a miss, I’m Miss Rachel Ann Rosenthal. Then there is miss as a verb – I will miss you forever.

Last night Carly and I ate an amazing dinner at this place called ‘Delta Grill’, its New Orleans cuisine. After we were done and stuffed to the brim she asked me if that was how we ate the entire time we were in Savannah, which it was 100%. But it was amazing. Both Savannah and the meal we had just had.

We then started the ‘7 Up Series,’ and it’s pretty interesting. It started in 1964 when some British filmmakers interviewed a bunch of 7 year olds on the premise that ‘give me a child at 7 and I will show you the man.’ And let me tell you British 7 year olds with their little accents, and knee socks are super cute. The filmmakers then proceeded to interview the same kids every 7 years. We made it half way through 21 when we both decided to call it a night. I’m looking forward to watching the rest of the years though.

I also downloaded the new Sugarland album “Incredible Machine” and it’s pretty fantastic. I feel like I might be the little miss in one of their songs, but I’m definitely not all right at the moment. But somewhere deep deep deep really deep down inside of me I know that one day maybe I will be. Maybe. Its definitely wishful thinking on my part, but it is what everyone says – one day.

Love you forever, miss you always.

Rachel

Little Miss down on love,
Little Miss I give up,
Little Miss I'll get tough, don't you worry 'bout me anymore

Little Miss checkered dress,
Little Miss one big mess,
Little Miss I'll take less when I always give so much more

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win,
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again

I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay

Little Miss do your best,
Little Miss never rest,
Little Miss be my guest, I'll make more anytime it runs out

Little Miss you'll go far,
Little Miss hide your scars,
Little Miss who you are is so much more than you like to talk about

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win,
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again,
I'm okay, It'll be alright again,
I'm okay, It'll be alright again,
I'm okay

Hold on,
hold on, you are loved

Little Miss brand new start
Little Miss do your part
Little Miss big ole heart beats wide open, she's ready now for love

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright,
It'll be alright again, it'll be alright again

I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay, It'll be alright again, I'm okay,
It'll be alright again