Hey Yo,
Here I am, in for another year. 2012 has officially started, technically 6 days ago but who’s counting. As you know the Hanukah party has come and gone, so has Christmas, as well as the cruise.
The cruise was good. Very relaxing. It’s nice to get off the grid. I’d forgotten what it was like to not be connected at all times. To have faith that someone will meet you at the agreed upon time in the agreed upon location, with no way to check up on them. Refreshing really. Plus the massage I had was one of the best ever, so that was pretty awesome.
There were a few times when I would take in the situation and realize that nothing about it would be any different if you were here. It was weird really. Because outside of these few fleeting moments, I always feel like everything is different and if you were here nothing would be as it is today. But there were times playing Rummikub where it seemed as if you had just stepped away for a second and would play the next round. Wonder if that puts me closer or farther away from acceptance.
On a different note I’ve been trying to decide if I believe in resolutions and the magic that New Years Day seems to hold. Obviously I believe that resolutions and New Years Day actually exist, but I’m not sure that I buy into the whole idea that on January 1st your slate gets wiped clean and you can start over. Make of the New Year whatever you want and make of yourself whatever you want. I do believe that you can wake up one day and decide to change things, but I’m not entirely sure that is tied to the date January 1st. Does that make sense? In my head it does, so that should count for something.
Either way, I keep my motto close to the surface ‘Be Present’. I pretty much suck at it, but I’m trying and hopefully I do better tomorrow than I did today.
Love you forever, Miss you always.
Rachel
“…When I'm Down And Feeling Blue
I Close My Eyes So I Can Be With You…”
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