Another day, another dollar.....same stuff, different day

Hi –

I know it’s been a while.  It’s been the longest stretch of time that I haven’t written yet.

I was half doing an experiment on myself, and half trying to not write until I had something else to say besides how much I miss you.

The experiment part was to see if not writing would make me think about you any less, or process better. Neither happened.

And I never really found anything else to say.

I can tell you the things I learned from my weekend in NYC:

1. Blizzards can happen in October

2. New Yorkers make it difficult to get to New Jersey on purpose

3. You should be weary of little green pills

That last one was a lesson that came hard and fast. Basically even though I have been partaking in herbs for years and would not by any stretch consider myself a novice, bad trips can happen to anyone at any time. And man did it ever.

In between crying, shaking, and being a blubbering mess I did manage to have some crazy realizations. There was a 5-minute span between 6 and 7 when I realized you were gone. That was something for sure. The entire time I was having this moment all I could think was this was not the time or place to be having it. But alas there I was, on Nicks couch a complete mess. He was awesome about it though, so that’s something.

Also, the only other thing I could think about was how my car was parked at a satellite parking lot at the Orlando airport, and I just wanted to get back to it.  For some reason my thought process was that if I could get to the car everything would be ok.

How’s that for stable, well adjusted, and dealing?

So yeah – unfortunately nothing new to report from this front.

Love you forever, Miss you always.

Rachel

“…You say it's easier

Alone and undisturbed

You said yes and danced before

And got your feelings hurt

You say most days your good

It's not so bad this room

Watching the rain today

Even though it's clear and sunny

And you fight it so hard

How to tell if it's real or not…”