Hi –
There are times I find myself wanting to apologize for the way I’ve been grieving. How it’s all internally, and there are no real outward signs. There are times when I get overwhelmed and tear up, but I don’t want to share them. I have no idea why, but in those moments I just want to be left alone to process.
We are down 1 Christmas Eve dinner, and have 2 dinners left. Christmas Day dinner is tomorrow and it’s all on me. I’m actually really excited. I have no idea if I'm capable of pulling it off. I’ve never cooked this much before. My biggest concern is having it all done around the same time and served hot. That’s going to take some coordinating. When I get up in the morning I’m going to need to sit down and really think about which dishes go first and what not. I’m hoping a lot of the prep I can get done a head of time if not the entire dish – and then just reheat to serve.
There were a couple times today where I fully expected you to walk through the kitchen. I’m not waiting for it to happen because I know its not going to. But when everyone is milling about, talking and laughing, I can close my eyes and picture you right there along with everyone.
Love you forever, Miss you always
Rachel
No comments:
Post a Comment