Can I have a bite? Just a small one please?

Hi –

Its been a few days – sorry about that. I was out in San Fran hanging with Matt, Lauren, and Kalel. He’s a great baby. Not too fussy unless something is wrong. He doesn’t fuss just to fuss, which is nice. I hear some babies do that. He’s obviously going to be a genius. He’s 21 days old and I’m pretty sure we spotted some deliberate movements yesterday while he was on his play mat.

I think he looks a lot like Lauren, but it’s probably too early to tell. He definitely has her long fingers though.  Either way he is one attractive baby.

It was a good couple of days.  A little awkward in my own head, if nothing else. I’ve taken to coping with everything that is going on by making incredibly inappropriate jokes and remarks, which I found myself censoring while I there. I spent the first few days around dad and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t need my special pessimistic view on things at this exact moment. The rest of the time I just wasn’t sure how anyone would react to my jokes, so I kept them to myself. It felt weird, stifling almost. And it wasn’t like someone said anything to me that made me keep quiet, but I just did it on my own. It was a conscious decision. I don’t know, I’m not sure if I’m making sense.  Oh well.

I did realize while I was there that one thing you used to do that I hated, I now would give anything for it to happen again. My whole life I knew that if I was eating something and you were in a 50 feet radius you were going to come up and ask for a taste, a bite, just a little one. You honestly just wanted a taste, nothing more. And I used to hate it. You always managed to come by just at the moment that I had constructed the perfect bite, or at the very end when I had saved the best for last. And it used to annoy me. Now I would gladly give you the last bite or anything on my plate. Or that perfect bite of my sandwich where I can see all the ingredients coming together perfectly.

I’ve decided that I’m going to have a Hanukkah party, it seems only natural. It was grandma’s party, then it was yours, so now its mine. Seems to make sense I think. Besides Matt, Lauren, and Kalel will be there, so it only makes sense. I have to talk to Cousin Phillip though. Figure out how it all goes.

Short and sweet for this first entry. I’m back in NYC, slept the entire day away instead of going to work, and now I’m going to go back to bed. Catch up on some TV.

Love you forever, Miss you always

Rachel

Every time we say goodbye, I die a little,

Every time we say goodbye, I wonder why a little,

Why the Gods above me, who must be in the know.

Think so little of me, they allow you to go.

When you're near, there's such an air of spring about it,

I can hear a lark somewhere, begin to sing about it,

There's no love song finer, but how strange the change 

from major to minor,

Every time we say goodbye.