Bunheads

Hi –

There’s this show on TV and I wish you were here to watch it with me. You would love it as much as I do. It’s by the same people who did Gilmore Girls. Sutton Foster is in it, and Emily Gilmore. Who is of course the original ‘At the Ballet’ from A Chorus Line.  I missed The Kennedy Center Honors this past year. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting the Golden Globes this Sunday. There are so many little things happening you would have loved. Big things too. Just things.

Miss you.

Love you forever, Miss you always.

Rachel 

Birthday Blues Party of 1

Hi –

Remember me, it’s your long lost daughter. I’ve been quiet for quite some time now. Birthday Blues are bringing me out of hiding. In less then 48 hours I shall turn 28. I think I’m dreading 28 the way that most people dread 30 or even 40.  I can’t really explain why I’m dreading it, but I just am.

I’ve somehow managed to put all this pressure on myself that things should happen to me in the coming year. That at 28 things should be different, feel different. That I will somehow magically feel like an adult. Be an adult. Do adult things. What those adult things are, or what being an adult really means I have no idea. But here I am putting pressure on myself.

When in actual reality I will wake up on June 28^th and everything will be exactly the same.  Exactly. Then before I know it 6 months will have passed, my life will look exactly the same, and nothing will have changed. Nothing will feel different. I wont feel any closer to being an adult. I won't feel any closer to figuring out my life. But yet, I will have lived 6 more months in some sort of haze waiting to feel something.

I do feel this weird cyclical nature to my life at the moment though. I’m currently sitting on the couch watching Bunheads a new TV show by Amy Sherman-Palladino, the creator of Gilmore Girls. While also being super excited about Aaron Sorkin’s new TV show Newsroom. Just yesterday I was watching Gilmore Girls and excited about Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.  Here’s hoping Newsroom lasts longer then Studio 60, because I still haven’t gotten over that heart break.

I digress. So yeah – Wednesday, my birthday. 28. An even number. A multiple of 2 and 14. 4 and 7.

That’s all I got. My birthday. Wednesday. Dreading it.

Love you forever, Miss you always.

Rachel

“…You're a fraud and you know it

But it's too good to throw it all away

Anyone would do the same

You've got 'em going

And you're careful not to show it

Sometimes you even fool yourself a bit

It's like magic

But it's always been a smoke and mirrors game

Anyone would do the same…”