Sun, Sand, and Surf. Almost paradise.

Hi –

I’m thinking that maybe I’m not doing as well as I once thought. And that maybe I’m a little more in denial than I originally thought.

I had a really great night. Becca came over, we ordered in Indian, and then along with Honey we had ourselves a fairly intense marathon of the TLC show ‘Toddlers and Tiaras.’ The show is amazing, and a little scary, and a little like watching a car crash. You just can’t look away.  Then our other friend Joey came over, and Matt came home from work and we all just hung out talking. It really was a great night.

Then just now I was locking up and shutting off lights and I was thinking, ‘I’ve got to call my mom in the morning and tell her about this show, and to thank her for never putting me in Pageants.’ But then I remember, and I’m reminding myself, and explaining to myself what happened.

It’s a bit cruel really.

There’s a fleeting moment of happiness. Of remembering what it felt like to be whole.

I’m thinking that I’m probably still on my sunny island with the pool house, cabana boy, Rab, and Randi – and that I never left.

Love you forever, Miss you always.

Rachel