Oprah, Ellen, oh my...

Hi,

It's only 11:30pm so I'm definitely ahead of the game tonight in getting to sleep. The big boss's are going to be in our NY offices tomorrow so I need to get there way before them and get my shit together for all of our meetings. Its going to be so exciting.

Oprah's final season starts tomorrow, I know you're very sad to be missing it. Somehow though, I'm sure where ever you are Oprah's final season is not exactly at the top of your list of things to be concerned about. Ellen also starts up tomorrow too - I'm equally as thrilled about that, as I'm sure you are aware.

I'm back in my apartment tonight, and currently all snuggled into my bed. I'm excited about sleeping in my actual bed tonight because its rather comfortable if I do say so myself. My room however needs a bit of a cleaning. I have about 3 half filled suitcases piled on top of each other. I'm slightly concerned about my early morning stumble to the shower, but not concerned enough to move anything. Hopefully I am motivated enough tomorrow night to do laundry and clean up the suitcases.

I was recounting my last 3 weeks to Honey tonight since i haven't seen her since everything happened, and I found myself with nothing really to say. I mean there is the obvious that you're gone, but that's about it. Everything I've done, experienced, thought about, etc has been connected to that moment. I have this feeling that it will be forever. From here on out I'll be defined by it. I guess that's how it goes.

Everyday I think of these new things that I'm going to miss out on. Sometimes its stupid shit like a recipe, and other days its things like a complete medical history. It occurred to me the other day that I'll be somewhere, at some point in my life and asked for a complete medical history and I wont have one. Did you have high blood pressure? I think. How was your cholesterol? Who knows. You had a hysterectomy so who knows when you would have gone through menopause. I know you had melanoma's, but other than that you were relatively healthy. You did have allergies, but what kind - I couldn't tell you. Just things I think about.

Going to go to sleep now. Watch over me tomorrow, make sure I don't stick my foot in my mouth. That would be extremely unhelpful.

Love you forever, miss you always.
Rachel